Not a victim, but a survivor

Posted at 10:37 PM, Mar 03, 2016
and last updated 2016-03-04 04:57:52-05

“The bitterness, the anger and the fear that I had surround me when I thought about that story.  They used to be so strong I couldn’t breathe.”

The night of March 11th, 2011, Ashlee Birk’s life collapsed around her.

That was the night Birk’s husband was shot and killed in a Meridian Walgreens parking lot by his lover’s husband.

“I would have the biggest pity parties, feeling alone and really analyzing what could I have done better? What did I do wrong? Why wasn't I enough?" Birk asked.

Birk now also faced raising five children on her own.

In the days that followed, Birk found peace by creating a blog which quickly grew in popularity.  After a million hits, Birk wrote a book.

She says her journey forward didn’t really start until she embraced forgiveness.  For Emmett, his murderer Rob Hall and mistress Kandi Hall, and Ashlee hopes the Halls can do the same of her.

"I want you to know that I want you to forgive me for hating you. Because that's what’s really killed me. Not necessarily the anger I've had towards you, but the hate because of what you did to me."

When asked why she wanted to speak with 6 On Your Side she explained she is tired of being a victim and hopes others can find strength in her story.

"I don't want to tell this story as the victim anymore. Because I did survive it, so why am I stuck in it as a victim?  No more.”

Birk is hosting a conference this weekend at the Boise Centre called "A Reason to Stand".  It will include 15 speakers sharing their personal stories of how they found forgiveness.  Click here for more information.